Little chocolate treasures...

There are moments in my life where I wonder if I am teaching my kids the right things. Growing up I always did nice things for my parents and decided as a mother I would continue to do nice things for my husband and children. With no payment in return of course. (Insert charity label here) So I do nice things for them, clean rooms, when they should do it. Make beds, when they should do it, take their Laundry to the laundry room, (sometimes) when they should do it. Make cute little cut outs for Eli's P&J sandwich's for school, cook foods they like as opposed to ones every one can eat. So the kids can ooh and ahhh at the cool dinosaur sandwich. Put their clothes out for them all lined up so they are even super ready to go in the morning. In all reality I bend over backwards to please them, to make them happy, to be the person that I would want if someone were doing these things for me. I think, well I am a mom and these are just mom duties. But I always go beyond that. A bad habit depending on how you look at it for me. Sometimes I go to far and my friends or other people are not as accepting of these things. Special flowers, offer to take kids for the day, offering to do someones laundry, baking cookies and then having the person tell me that i shouldn't have when in all reality "I" really wanted to. Not picking on anyone one person. But have you ever been charitable or what you might have thought was charitable and got shot down? not the out come you expected. Sometimes I get the "Oh, thank you so much I really needed that" response and then most the time I get the "no, we're fine right now". I wish people would accept charity and friendship. I am not offended if they don't. Because i can move on. But wouldn't make the world a nicer place if we could all live to serve one another in friendship? In my family growing up, we somehow knew/know this. For example if someone in our house needs help, usually... me growing up. Mom and dad would stop what they were doing and help out. There was no, "i am busy can it wait". There was pure genuine love for that person, enough that they stopped and helped out. I use to make baths for my mom and lay her clothes out. I use to cook for my parents, you know breakfast in bed etc. Doing those nice things that I knew they would love. now you think wow this person has A LOT of Pride. I don't see it that way. When I got married I came to the reality that not everyone on this planet is like this and that maybe I can be a little over powering with my deeds. My husband for example is not one of these people, well at least not ALL the time. He does help out a lot now. But he was not always like that. He does those little things now that mean A LOT to me. Taking my dirty cups down every morning. (because I have to have drinks at night before bed) Switching laundry loads, helping with kids so I can work out, and being there almost anytime I need him now. I was hoping that being married meant I could do more for others too not just my family. Some are accepting of it and some are not. I try to be a people pleaser.(SP) I have just realized that I have to have people in my life to survive emotionally. SO I am constantly trying to do nice things for others. Let me tell you it is a hard task sometimes. Well, for me anyway. I have been turned down. Maybe I come on a little strong, who knows. It's not after shave people! It's trying to be nice and be a friend. No strings attached. Let me do nice things for you. Let me be a friend. I guess others might see that being a friend is a string attached. I don't want anything in return is what I am saying. I would hope that someday I would have my kids try to do the same for others. to be charitable and a genuine friend. And then it happened.

Eli: I wanna hold the umbrella
mom: why
Eli: because it is cool
mom: but if you hold the umbrella then you can't hold this"little chocolate treasure" i got you. (reaching into my purse where all of my secret mom treasures are, that the kids are NOT aloud to touch or go through, make up included!)
Eli: grinning from ear to ear
mom: hold your hands open
Eli: why did you get me chocolate?
Mom: Because you did something really nice for me and I wanted say thanks!
Eli: what did I do?

In all honesty I think he knew what he did but was not saying to see if I would know what he did and recognize it. But who knows. He really could have forgotten that he truly did something nice fore 3 people in our family yesterday morning. Wait 4 including me. Not even thinking twice about the reward!

Mom: well I came upstairs to make the beds and when I got there guess what I found?
Eli: starting to smile and say. Mom I made all the beds for everyone.
Mom: YES! I was sooo so surprised by it (i got tears in my eyes) I lost my breath and I had to take a second look. Eli, made the beds! wow. All three kids beds!
Eli: I know we were late for school. this was why. Dean has his new bed now and I was showing him how it was done.
Mom: well I was surprised and I wanted to let you know that it meant a lot to me that you made the beds (pulling out more chocolate) here are some chocolate treasures!
Eli: licking his bottom lip (so cute) yummy! Just me, no one else gets any?
Mom: Just you.
Eli: thanks.
Mom: (thinking that food might not be the reward I wanted to give) you are welcome.

Eli has done many things this last year that has made me tear up. Since Carver was born he insists on holding him. "mom, i will hold him while you get it"
He loves to take care of people and make sure I can do things. "you cook and I will hold him"

I am just amazed at the love he has for his family sometimes. I think I have hit that stage in my motherhood life, where my kids have become my friends too. They don't ever judge me, they are accepting of me and my faults, they love me regardless, they do nice things for me...bonus for me, YAY! they are always there for me. TO the sounds of it they are learning how to be charitable and kind to others without recognition. Daddy also told Eli he could have money in his money jar for doing something nice without us telling or asking him to do it. (saving for the toy story game).

Eli: Oh...Really?
Daddy: Yup!

We don't need rewards to help others or do nice things for others. Honestly I wish more people were not so shut down inside and could let others in. To accept kindness and love. TO let others serve you, and to be a friend. That's what heavenly father would want!

To me, that is a chocolate treasure!