Head Cold

Today I woke up with a head cold. Sinus maybe. My head hurts, my nose is stuffed, and all around not feeling all that well. The loudness of my children seem to intensify when I am ill. Pounding in fact. It hurts to see in the bright light. Most of our kids are loud. Dean is the loudest of all. He is a lot like Eli. The energizer bunny who just keeps going and going and going like one of my horrible run on sentences. Except when I am sick he seems worse and it seems like I am in a nightmare trying to wake up. Migraine! David left to get some stones to use as a boarder for the front yard. We are tearing apart the yard and are making it ours. We went through 2 yrs of leaves falling and us not wanting to clean them. so we pulled those out. So at least 2 of the kids are gone for a bit. Dean is in the playroom right now playing quietly. I get an occasional run in with a "MOMMY" scream and then he runs back into the playroom. Carver is asleep. He is a little sick too. He has been sleeping a little better this week, but I fear it is only because I gave him Ib Profrin at night. Days like today I wonder why I had 4 kids in the first place, even though I know I would be a wreck without them. On days when I feel my worst they still manage to give in and hug me "and" give me what I need emotionally. I wouldn't trade it for anything else. Days where I feel sick, tired or stressed, I can find hope and know that I was chosen to be there mom. Even though I might not be the best at it. I am learning. days like today I wonder why and then that hugs come. The migraine doesn't go away though. The hugs just make it worth suffering the pain or whatever emotional or spiritual battle I am up against. I have a lot to do today and my body is not doing what I want it to. Sluggish, tired, sick and mad at me for staying up until 2am. The insomnia that I have had since Carver was born has not let up at all either. I am up every night past 1 or 2 depending on the night. If I am in bed by 12 it is a miracle. I usually try and stay awake so he can get that feeding in. Sometimes h doesn't wake up so I am just up for no reason. "sniff" "sniff" Sarina was up Hacking away last night. My mom helped me make the lemon/ honey mix and then Sarina didn't cough hardly the rest of the night. that stuff really works! well the Dean Bean boy has come to talk my ear off and so I end my post for now.